Self-confidence is essential if you want to live your best life. Life is so much better when you believe in yourself. Your confidence levels dictate whether you are your own worst enemy, or your own biggest ally. Confidence may seem like a small thing, but it can have a huge impact on the quality of your life. It can help you get that promotion you’ve been after, or get a date with that person you’ve had your eye on. It can help you push forward and go for the life of your dreams.
A high self-confidence will impact every aspect of your life. But what if your confidence isn’t what it should be or worse? Your confidence is in crisis? Then read on….
When we were babies we were born with perfect confidence and self esteem. We enjoyed people looking at us and marvelling at every little thing we did. Most of us were proper little show offs. Go to any park or play ground and you’ll hear children shouting Mummy, Daddy look at me! Look what I can do!
Some people never lose this childhood confidence and seem to float through life rolling with the punches. Whatever knocks them down; they just get back up again.
But for many others every negative life situation has chipped away at their confidence. Every criticism, every failed relationship, every knock-back, every drama, every missed opportunity, every extra pound gained just nibbled away at the edges, gradually eroding that confidence.
Now every decision you have to make leaves you doubting yourself. You go round and round in circles not knowing what to do for the best. You see other people moving on with their lives and you’re resentful because you feel trapped. The voice inside your head telling you you’re useless just gets louder and louder and louder.
STOP! There is something you can do about it. Here are 7 ways to build your confidence.
- Know your strengths and weaknesses.
Write a list of your strengths and weaknesses, and keep the same number of each. For every negative thing you can think of, there will be something positive to match it. This will get you in the habit of looking for a strength in yourself every time you find a weakness. Most people who lack confidence don’t believe they have any strengths, this is simply not true. Being kind, punctual, reliable or a good cook all count. You may find in time that your strengths even outnumber your weaknesses.
- Set achievable goals for yourself.
Set some short term goals that you can easily achieve. Practical goals build confidence and put you more in control of your life. When you set yourself a goal, even if you’ve never thought about it before, you unleash powerful mental forces. Most of us are far more capable than we give ourselves credit for. By achieving your goals you will feel better about yourself, you can build on this success and go for bigger and bigger goals in the future.
- Live in the now, not in the past.
Make sure when you think of yourself, you judge yourself based on who you are right now, not on who you used to be. You’re not that pimply teenager or that shy, inexperienced lover any more. If the story that you tell yourself is out of date then update it. The stories we tell are incredibly powerful. You probably don’t have the clothes or the accessories from that period so why hold onto the beliefs?
- Stop comparing yourself to others.
Do not compare yourself to others EVER. Remember: for each thing they do well, they probably have a weakness to match. None of us know what truly goes on in anybody else’s life, so focus on your own life and not theirs. It’s a recipe for disaster to compare yourself to others. Each person is unique, and has his or her own strengths, talents and potential, including you. The only person you should ever compare yourself to is the earlier you. That way you can see the progress you’re making.
- Do more of the things that make you happy.
Do you love sports? Or long hot baths? Or listening to music? Knowing what makes you happy and doing as much of it as possible will make you feel so much better about your life and about yourself in general. This one sounds simple but has a huge impact. Think about taking up a hobby that helps others or volunteering for a cause that you believe in. Both of these are incredibly rewarding. When we focus on others less fortunate than ourselves it gives us some perspective and makes us feel far better about ourselves.
- Determine what you want your future to look like.
Even if you don’t have the confidence to do anything about it yet figure out what you want to do with your life. Imagine your ideal career, your dream love relationship, and the places you would like to see in the world. Let your imagination fly. Having an optimistic view of your future will lift your spirits and enable you to focus on what direction you want to go in. Visualise this dream future often and it will influence your all powerful subconscious mind.
- Allow yourself to revel in your successes.
Create a list of all the things that you have accomplished in your life. Being part of a great family/loving relationship, job interviews were you got the job, passing your driving test, any other qualifications you have gained, any sporting or musical achievements etc etc then savour what’s on your success list. Allow the achievement all of those successes to sink right down into your cells. Add to the list whenever you accomplish anything new, and review it often. We dwell so much on the things that go wrong and don’t celebrate the things that go right. Doing this will provide regular, positive reinforcement in your life.
If your confidence is in crisis – whether its confidence professionally or socially or confidence with the opposite or preferred sex get in touch today and start living your life to the full.